by Janday Wilson
“Being Mary Jane” Season 1, Episode 4 Recap
This recap is dedicated to that completely perplexing commercial that was aired during last night’s “Being Mary Jane,” which promoted a Twitter campaign encouraging BMJ watchers to share the reasons why “#iammaryjane.” Wait a second. I need some time to dismount my high horse. I kiiiiind of get where BET was going with this one. Mary Jane is a complex person, as we all are. Everything living on this planet has flaws. No one is perfect. Now with that said, though I do not hate Mary Jane as much as it appears many of my fellow BMJ watchers do, I would be DAMNED if I came out and said that I am Mary Jane. I do not want to be her. Let me count the ways based off of this episode:
1. Here’s the obvious: CLOSE YOUR LEGS TO MARRIED MEN (in my best Nene voice). Andre is a scumbag. He’s sitting there with his family, one child sleeping on his shoulder, while he’s texting Mary Jane about a possible booty call. When he jokingly complains about the film that his kids picked for family movie night, Avery replies, “I think they just wanted to watch it with you.” So he’s clearly fond of ditching his family to play with Mary Jane.
2. It must suck to sit there listening to your lover describe how his wife gives him head. Mary Jane had the gall to respond to Andre’s description of Avery’s less-than-stellar technique with, “I’m not lazy. I give it my all!” Okay, cool. But did giving it your all in the head department get you a ring Mary Jane? Okay, well, kind of. But see what had happened was he was still married when he gave you one. BLOOP!
3. YOU OUTED YOUR FRIEND. And it was all just to make a lame joke about the sexuality of Kara’s paramour. How irresponsible can you get?? (I really wish Mark would have gotten his girl cousin to come clock Mary Jane instead of forgiving her and telling her, “It’s alright. It was never your secret to have to hold.”)
4. Using a platform like Girls, Inc., which is meant to uplift girls and women, to take public digs (however veiled) at your lover’s wife is not the move, girl. “Being #2 gives you the glory of being #1 without all of the pressure.” I mean, how awful can you be MJ? And you really told Avery, in the presence of other women, that you would “up your sex game” if you were in her shoes.
5. So you really want to be with a man with a serious inferiority complex? And you really believe he’s going to divorce his wife? You can have that Mary Jane. But personally, I would not want any parts of it.
6. One last thing. Those affirmation Post-it notes all over your headboard creep me out.